Another book I've always wanted to read, though I guess it's kinda ironic because I definitely am nowhere near close to wonderland at the moment...
Today had been a really tough day. I still cannot discipline myself as much as I want, and I wasted the early half of the day on idle matters. Even after all my self pep talk yesterday, I still cannot reign in my laziness and lack of self-control. I'm not stopping though. I'm still waging war with myself and my wayward tendencies.
However, I don't know. I try to have confidence in myself, since I think as long as I don't have enough of this, I would never be able to fully reign myself in, but what do you do when people around you do not give you as much confidence? Today, I felt that a lot of the times, my opinion on matters were either ignored, outmatched or are flat out wrong. Airing opinions are, of course, not a contest, but I don't really know. I guess all I'm trying to get at is it's really hard to be taken seriously if people keep thinking you're wee and young and naive. I'm going to try and find a way to prove that, despite my childish antics, I can think and act responsibly, and while I never want to be an adult, I can more than approximate when needed.
Anyway, today I also began watching the anime Free. Completely uncharacteristic of me, I know, but it seemed like a fun anime to watch. My girlfriend and her friends had a blast watching it, some of them were even moved to tears with how the show ended. Quite difficult to watch on the go though, that anime, as it shows a lot of boys with ripped bodies, and it can be quite emasculating you know >__< Also, for the same reason, I feel a nagging sense that my masculinity is being judged by watching that sort of anime. Not that the latter matters all that much, I'm comfortable with myself and my identity, but the former be quite painful sometimes you know? Makes me wish I had a swimmer's body. One can dream.
Speaking of dream, early class tomorrow, so I should be heading to dreamland. Good night, and have a great day tomorrow!
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